No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
