i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
so much tequila, so little girl.
as a side note pls kill me
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