Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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