any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
That accounts for only three of the penises
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
