Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
