I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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