Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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