I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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