Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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