Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Randomize
