He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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