Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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