Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
