Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
