And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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