Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
