I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize