no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Randomize
