Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Go christen that room with your naked body.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I pour the whiskey from now on
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
