10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
