don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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