If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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