can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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