this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
