I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Randomize
