thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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