i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Randomize
