This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
