My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
