hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
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