whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
