The maid of honor just puked.
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
