Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
How does one acquire holy water?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
last night I used snow as a chaser
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
