shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
