If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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