I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
