you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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