You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
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i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
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currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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