Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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