My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
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