We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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