i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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