Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
