Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
