so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Don't tell me you're on acid again
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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