look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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