Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Randomize
