Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
