Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize