Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize
