I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize