he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
