I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
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Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
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This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
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