Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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