Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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