If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
