I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
